Holy Fuck

Priced at £199.50, this lovely detachable dildo padlock muzzle is designed "to help stop your submissive's incessant complaining."

Looking at this picture I begin to feel uneasy (im no homophobe) and it's only funny up to the point where you begin to wonder what kind of degradable fuck would strap this to their head... Bless him, trying to stare soulessly out into the distance with the intention of somehow looking that bit more manly.  I'd sympathise, but really, all these balding men are doing are handing over their dignity in the name of over-priced sex toys.

Interview with Egyptian Hip Hop (Alex)

How did you guys come together, and what inspired you to choose the name EHH?

We all knew each other in some way or another. Me and Nick, we were in a group together way before EHH... The name was just something we came across to front the music really - not a massive amount of meaning to it.

How would you describe your sound? And what are you trying to achieve through your music?

"We're kind of trying to fit the last 40 or so years of Pop music into more electronic, progressive and heavy styles - not really sticking to any theme as such."

When and how did you guys decide to take your band further?

"Once we realised we kind of had a manager and people were actually interested we decided to start putting everything into it."

Any idea of where you would like to be in 5 years time?

"In 5 years, hopefully still together as a group and hopefully with at least 2 albums we could all be proud of creating."

What do you think of the current music industry?

"It seems like people may have actually started to realise things are changing in the industry. There still haven't been any huge changes but at least some interesting people are still getting signed."

Musically, where do you think your heading?

"It's one of the things where its almost impossible to say. we've recorded very very pop songs and we've written awkward prog songs i think in general we're just going to try and find a middle ground."

Who'd be your dream band to tour with?

"Maybe radiohead or someone ridiculous or just some friends of ours like Connan mockasin or late of the pier which would be fun."

What's it like juggling college and music, and do the teachers treat you any differently now youre getting recognition?

"Unfortunately (sort of) me and Louis have dropped out of education now just so we can really focus on what we're doing at right now - this is the most important thing in our future. When we were in college though, some tutors treated us with a bit of favouritism I think which was kinda funny. I think Nick and Alex are just about dealing with the juggling fairly well, they've almost finished anyway."

Full article coming soon.

A New Genre Of Porn

   Like Japan's technology being far more advanced than anywhere else on this earth, so is its porn. With Doll Sex Ghettos, and a cartoon inspired sex industry, Daikichi adds dead fish and frogs to Japan's notorious sex equation. He used dogs at first, but decided this was cruel and moved onto sex with food. He claims to have eaten 300 frogs after a shoot with his entourage in one day and says that he has never experienced any problems with any of his porn stars. It's surprising how happy and sound they are to have eels pushed up their scrotum (up to 20 at a time); then eventually having to shit them all out and, on a good day, possibly have fish drink milk out of their eyeballs.

    Groups of people agree his porn to have become an art, however, despite this, Daikichi still assures it to be purely for the viewer's enjoyment. Watching the scenes force your eyes to squint in disgust; almost in awe and regret of its powerful take on porn. This is rare, never-before seen shit and you can't draw your eyes away from the slime induced screen in sheer anticipation of what will happen next.

   What's really fucked up is it makes those Japanese horny. Essentially though, it is sex with food. Who knows, maybe in ten years time Western sex tapes will have evolved to Americans having sex with hamburgers and sucking on fries....

Click here to watch the VBS documentary at your own risk..

Get Downloading

You (or anyone really) are entitled to the free gift of 100 (or something) free tracks each month. There's no catches and it's legal (I think). The people compiling the blalocks playlist really know their stuff, and are good at catching bands early (e.g. the XX and Foal's 'Spanish Sahara') months before their public acknowledgement.

Have a look, and get downloading:

http://www.blalocksirp.com/