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Sunday, 11 September 2011


A month ago my mum came back from a night out a completely different person. She was convinced she understood everything she previously questioned about life and suddenly decided to become all ‘spiritual’ and ‘spread the love and laughter’ overnight. Now to those of you who don’t know my mum, she spends, or at least used to, the majority of her time watching pointless Russian talk shows, drinking cheap red wine that colors her teeth a transparent black, and crying or yelling (it’s often hard to distinguish between the two). The only difference now is minus the drinking, and preaching to her friends over the phone in advert breaks. Some people call it a mid-life crisis and others call it clinical depression…I just wanted to interview her about it..

So when did it all start?
Well the mother of twins at my sons’ school gave me this meditation disk that enabled me to speak to angels. I still speak to them every day. One night, I woke up and saw what I guess you would call a prophecy. She gave me a voucher to go to this crystal healing class in Camden. I decided to give that a go.

What happened that night?
The instructor didn’t turn up so everyone just stood there for a while. Then this woman started talking to me.

What did she say?
We talked on a general level, but I had nothing to do for the next couple hours before I went out for drinks with my friends, so we hung out. She said she survived a coma, and said I was special, a really strong spirit. She said she could see me holding a crying baby in my hands.

Weren’t you slightly creeped out?
Yes, at the time. But a lot of the things she started saying started making sense. That crying baby I was supposedly holding close to me was actually you. Because of everything else over the past 6 years, I didn’t have time for you, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t want to.

Ok. So why did you suddenly ‘change’?
She was talking a lot about energy, vibrations and the soul. We all have souls of a past life; it’s just about getting in tune with that, remembering what we learnt in our past life and what we were good at. Each person put on this earth has a purpose.

But what’s your purpose? You’re getting old now and haven’t achieved much.
Well, I’m still alive. What I have to ask myself is how I can help others, that is my purpose. The generation being born now is destined to change the world, their souls are much more spiritually aware and in tune.

How can you become more ‘spiritually’ aware’?
It’s feeling vibrations off other people, and listening to what your soul is telling you to do… what feels ‘right’.

Ok, what do you think that girl would’ve said about me?
Well I invited her round to our house the other night.

I showed her your photos. She says you’re very spiritual, very strong and stubborn, and wise…but you’re scared of something. She can’t tell what it is.

Did you pay her for this?

Good, so why does she do this if she isn’t getting paid?
She works with children as a day job. She can just see things.

What does she see exactly?
She can see attributes of your past soul and feel vibrations. Everyone has vibrations, when you’re down, they’re low and when you’re feeling good, they’re high. If you were to go into a room of people on ecstasy completely sober, you’d feel the same energy they feel because they will pass on their vibrations. However alcohol gets rid of everyone’s energy, essentially it makes you a zombie, so I’m not drinking anymore.

So you’re going to hang out with pill heads now?
No, I’m just going to show more love towards others and laugh more.

You went to this ‘laughing group’ the other night, again in Camden. How was that?
I found it on a London meet up site. It was organized by Love Generation to meet up over eating raw food and smoothies and spread love. I didn’t know anyone there.

Wasn’t that awkward?
Yes because everyone else was really old or foreign. There wasn’t actually much laughter or hugging, which was disappointing.

Why would you meet up with someone to just laugh?
Laughing helps your soul and makes you and the other person achieve real happiness. (Laughs) Do you feel happy?

Not really. I’m worried that the next meet up you go to will involve you getting kidnapped and killed or something.
If you think positively, positive things will happen.

What’s your opinion on the end of the world in 2012?
It’s not ending, it’s a time of change. People will become more spiritually aware. It’s even proved that our DNA is changing at the moment. All religions will be condensed into one: The Knowledge Book, which is coded and in Turkey that Moses originally used ( People will change. But there is a path set for all of us in the stars (

So what should I do with my life?
You need to create something or to do something with your hands. Be a hairdresser or beautician, or dance or sing or be a designer. As long as you do something creative that’s good. Let’s say you were a banker. What do you do? You check in, sit at a desk and do nothing, and then you get paid. You’ve got a short life but you’d be exchanging your life for money. Money doesn’t bring you happiness.

That’s not what you were shouting at me two hours ago.


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